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Posted in Dating
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a female viewer who is a forty-four year old flight attendant. She wisely spent the last few years focusing on herself, learning to love herself and working through some co-dependency issues she had, so she could simply get to a place where she enjoys being alone. Now that she has made a career change from the medical field, she is ready to date and enjoy her life. She met a man on the dating app Tinder a few months ago. They had a great first date and amazing sex afterwards. She started changing her schedule around to match his, and he asked her to be exclusive right away. However, several times they have had to cancel plans at the last minute because of work and his kids.
So why do we refuse to put dating on hold altogether until we are completely ready? And why do our dating partners continue to ask us to accept less than we deserve?
A Simple Way to Detach & Go with the Flow
The only way for a situation to truly bear no label is if there is no discussion to what it all means. If the two people involved are open to whatever happens, happening in its due time, then the label is pending.
That's why, no matter how hard it may seem, going with the flow is probably the best possible approach to dating. It takes the pressure off. Trying to control the fate of a relationship puts a lot of pressure on you and the guy you're with - pressure the relationship will fare way better without.
You meet, you hang out, if you like each other you hang out more and if not the friendship sizzles and fades. Does the person asking to go with the flow still expect all of the relationship and intimate benefits?
Then chances are they are just looking for something with less accountability than a relationship. These situations can be dangerous for the emotional being. Not because it is a crime for a person to want to take things slow, but in most cases someone gets hurt.
It is unfair to your partner to agree to wait while trying to manipulate them into a relationship but it is also unfair to try and turn off your feelings. The simple fact is love is always a gamble whether you think you know what to expect or not.
May 18, "The superior approach to take when dating, in order to naturally create and allow effortless relationships to unfold, is to simply go with the flow. This means enjoying hanging out together, having fun together and hooking up in a casual, non-attached way. So, when it comes to "going with the flow" with dating, it's not about dismissing your needs or desire for clarity out of fear of seeming difficult. It's about being flexible with the inevitable bumps and turns that may arise along the way, because they're bound to come up . May 25, This Is Why You Should Never 'Go With The Flow' In A New Relationship We live in a time where dating seems like such an ordeal that we have to make .
The best way to protect yourself is to be aware of what you want and what your end goal is. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. By Averi Clements.
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Does it work? For some of us controlling, um, risk-averse folks, going with the flow can feel like a constant anxiety attack that never seems to end.
And I finally found out why. After all, anxiety is literally fear of the unknown. I knew she was right, but I still felt like that would be enabling behavior that I previously thought to be rigid.
Here are some reasons why you don't need to label it too fast, and instead you should relax and just go with the flow. You don't need to lock him down. Making him your boyfriend so he can't be anyone else's boyfriend is sort of noble in theory, but he should want in, not be forced, coerced, or blackmailed to do it. There is already a natural flow involved in dating You meet, you hang out, if you like each other you hang out more and if not the friendship sizzles and fades. Anything other than the natural flow isn't a flow at all. It's caution, its control, its anything but natural. Should you go with the flow in dating - Find single man in the US with footing. Looking for romance in all the wrong places? Now, try the right place. Find a man in my area! Free to join to find a woman and meet a woman online who is single and looking for you.
OK, not really, but it was definitely a gem.
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