Thanks! Between online dating question what are you looking for necessary
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I just look for someone I connect with and hope that we are both on the same page. So how do I answer the question in a way that helps me filter out the jerks and time wasters whilst still keeping my options open? So, what if you used this question as a way to fantasize about the kind of person you are attracted to and compatible with rather than to define the kind of relationship you want esp. You are physically and verbally demonstrative. You think a good evening would be scouting out a grocery store and making an ambitious recipe together.
Not only is praising her appearance a beta male move, she gets tons of messages just like that already. Alpha males exude confidence.
Make her feel like she needs to pursue you, not the other way around. When your question makes her feel something, you form an instant bond.
Ask her a question that conjures up a pleasant daydream, or makes her laugh. Humor is always good - researchers have found it makes people feel more relaxed and accepting.
The best questions are entertaining to ponder, and specific enough that coming up with a response is easy. Combine all three elements in one question, and watch your response rate soar. The goal of back-and-forth messaging is to keep the conversation flowing towards a number exchange or a date. Ask her out too soon, and you risk turning her off. You have to naturally transition between steps 2 and 3, just as you would in a face to face conversation. On a dating app like Tinder where the messages are shorter and the pace if faster, you may have to exchange before you've built up enough trust and attraction for her to agree to meet you in person.
Here are some indications you should ask for a date or her number:. Once you're getting some positive vibes, you need to move the conversation off the dating site or app before she gets tired of waiting for you to ask her out and moves on, deletes her profile, or meets someone else. Once she's said yes in her head, it's easier for her to say yes to you.
Then, give her a choice of two date activities - according to our internal data, that makes it twice as likely she'll say yes. That's a much more confident move than putting it on her to initiate the scheduling. You can also suggest swapping phone numbers in case something comes up at the last minute. Wish you could just skip the tedious back-and-forth messaging and jump straight to dates with attractive women?
Apr 02, Dearest OP - I love this question. Thank you for submitting it. 1. Just want to be clear, if you go to the /r/okcupid sub or the vast majority of online dating advice sites, you're going to get the exact opposite advice of what the Cap just wrote. (Want to prepare you for that if . eHarmony Profile Questions - (17 Examples & Tips For. Sep 02, Now it's time to start talking. And that's where things can get a little tricky. For those of you who have a hard time coming up with a good conversation starter, or who are maybe just unsure of how to keep the conversation going, we came up with 97 online dating questions to help you get to know someone before deciding to meet up.
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Here are 10 great questions to ask a girl you like online. Don't know what to ask that hottie on dating apps & sites like Tinder, OkCupid, Match, or Bumble? Here are 10 great questions to ask a girl you like online. For an icebreaker question to be effective on a dating site or app, it needs to accomplish 3 things.
Skip to content. Exclusive Bonus: Download our 5 favorite conversation starters to get immediate response from attractive women. Here are some indications you should ask for a date or her number: She's answering your questions, then asking her own.
Wanting to learn more about you is one of the biggest signs the attraction goes both ways. One word responses, on the other hand, mean you need to step your game up, stat. Her responses are enthusiastic. Think long sentences, smiley faces, exclamation marks, and lols. She responds sooner rather than later.
While this isn't always the case depending on when you sent your message, she may be at work, sleeping, etc. About VIDA.
See If You Qualify. Find Out If You Qualify! Steal Our 8 Best-Performing Profiles. To be honest, I think this LW might be overthinking the question.
I had the same thought. The same timeline, basically, that a person would need to bring up having kids or something else that would be a personal dealbreaker. Yes, THIS. It took me far too long to start dropping the f-bomb feminism in my profile. And opinionated.
Apr 14, Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › The "What are you looking for" Question This topic contains 29 replies, has 1 voice. Honestly, when I got questions like that, my first thought was "not you." It's such a dumb question. I understand why it's being asked - the asker wants to see if your priorities are in line with theirs. They don't want to get their heart broken. When you meet someone online, you have to create a spark through that initial conversation. Good questions are like kindling. If you pile enough on, things really start to heat up. To help you gather tinder to use on Tinder (or any dating site or app), we've come up with 18 .
It acts as a deterrent for people who are a bad fit, and an advertisement to those who are a great fit. Of all the myriad filters I used to select potential dates, that was the simplest and most effective. They love me well and they love me HARD. So why would I expect any less from a guy I want to date? So I put that stuff in my profile. So take that paragraph where you state - very clearly! Also, Captain? I already knew I liked you because this blog is awesome, but that section from your profile is top-notch.
The Ayn Rand thing is key. I really respect that! Defining character trait. Marrying someone who saw it as a flaw to overcome would have been a recipe for disaster. Oh man yeah!
SIDEMEN BLIND DATING 2
Currently dating someone I love dearly but who finds some of my quirks frustrating. Oh, boy. I was the introvert in that particular situation once or twice, and yeah. I loved that he calmed me down, he loved that I brought excitement into his life. I find the idea of appealing to a wide variety of people exhausting before I even begin.
Typos also happen. I sort of thought that this was the entire point of profiles on dating sites, and especially those compatibility quizzes where one can identify acceptable responses as with OKCupid.
I find it baffling. Some of them are going to use that profile to represent themselves really well and see who messages. Some are going to use the profile to attract as general a range of potential dates as possible. Perhaps their goals are different. Perhaps their methods are the ones that work for them. If their way is one that you find pointless or bland or repugnant, clearly they are not the person for you, and that is okay.
Because not everything is for you. Neither is everyone. Rejoice in the fact that you have discovered that people who use OKC are not for you.
18 Good Online Dating Questions to Ask Girls & Guys
When I was on OKCupid years ago they were definitely playing both sides of this. They definitely have. Ayn Rand was a firm pass for me, too. It worked out well. Found my husband online - he was wonderfully open and honest about himself and his message showed he read my profile, had zero entitlement re: my response or interest, and was just introducing himself. I could still swoon over how respectful and nice that message was.
I cannot overstate how empowering it can be to put your basic wants and needs out there and be as specific as possible before even talking to the person - as Kat G says, it will really help you deter the people who are a bad fit and draw in those who are a great fit.
I feel closest to people who reciprocate enthusiastically when I express physical and verbal affection. On our first date, he was also very disconcertingly explicit but not pushy! I think two things make me feel more secure when reaching out to people I think might be a good fit:.
Hopefully there are some who can; the good thing is that I really only need to find one of them! I always wondered if it was an extremely lazy version of negging.
I rejected a dude once and he responded by calling me fat.
Online dating question what are you looking for
I was likethe worst thing you can say about me is the truth? Try harder, dude. Starting dating again in my early 30s following a divorce and need all the good advice I can get! When my first relationship ended after going a decade plus, flipping what was missing led to a list for me with items like wants to spend time with me in public, respects my knowledge of myself, wants to make out with me, compatible worldviews, and so on.
This is genius! Sass and I have exactly all of those books on our shelves right now, am I about to get internet broken up with by CA?!? I definitely agree with the Captain about her dating philosophy. My friends who read my profile before I met my husband were fond of telling me that my profile was too sharp and exclusionary. I wanted to meet the right person.
I got a lot fewer messages after that but one of them was the right one, so. Similar people I know ended up with generic mansplainer, mediocre white guy and the most boring man alive. Cookie cutters are for cookies. I have yet to see what the problem is with being exclusionary though. There are other people who would be better suited to specific qualities or hobbies - find them.
And, no. Just no. So now I care: No dudes more than three inches taller than myself. Call me when the patriarchy is smashed. I met my husband online but in that time before all of the dating sites broke through. We literally met in an AOL chatroom remember those?
I used to sit in a chat room and watch the scrolling conversation go by for sheer entertainment value. This was common, but I used to throw off the guys who were interested in me by asking them to answer weird ass questions if you were a color, what color would you be and why?
He did. To all 23 questions I came up with. He thought that I was interesting and we met two days later. Please and thank you, I have a mortgage to pay. Thank you to everyone who has written a comment and of course to our wonderful CA, for her on point advice!
More power to us all!! Man this is such good advice. Thank you for asking it! Captain, that is the best answer ever. My advice is to not spend a lot of time perfecting your profile. Let it be fluid, your real voice and your authentic self, even if that means god forbid! When you have time to peruse the site, spend it looking at profiles and messaging people YOU find interesting. Gotsta have the feels for my partners. Physical holes were being filled, not emotional ones, and damn did I want something real.
I learned to identify this as a sign that they were just out to fuck around because to a T, they would always be the ones to space out on dates or ghost post-sex.
By virtue of that question these men became The Unworthy. I thought there was something I was doing to prompt it, and so I thought I could do something to change it. I would have been far better off had I spent that time doing stuff that makes me happy or really just.
So chin up: you are the best advocate for your own needs and boundaries. The Unworthy is why I could never stand to do online dating in the first place. It almost made me want to fill out one myself except uh, see above.
Also, I was only on it for a short period of time because I wound up clicking with the first dude I actually went out with. I have to agree that internet dating or any kind of dating when your confidence is already being battered can feel like a step too far.
5 Great Icebreaker Questions To Ask A Girl:
IME the vast majority of people who visited my profile would pass on by without sending pointless ill-matched messages, when I had a quick summary of myself and what I wanted in the first 3 lines. It seemed like all but The Extremely Unworthy would at least skim-read those first few lines, and instead message someone who was actually what they were looking for.
And I got some really great well-matched messages, and a vast reduction in The Unworthy. Thanks for this, I feel uplifted. Good luck LW, stay true. Just so you know, there is a lot A LOT!
Said preferences may be indicative of classism or ableism, or many kinds of other -isms, that we have always had bubbling below the surface. This kind of interrogation is good to do for a lot of reasons, but please try to keep it separate from this ct of your dating life for a while. It just occurred to me that one way the Captain makes this work is by being really, REALLY upfront about one of the primary ways she herself differs from the Supermodel Standard before listing a couple of her own dealbreakers.
I was trying to humorously give dudes permission to like what they like but to not me about their feelings about fat chicks. And hey, Mr. Awkward wrote to me even though he was a smoker since quit and we liked each other fine and worked it out.
I personally would not want to be dated by someone who had really nobly struggled with their initial desire not to date me, decolonized their desires, and at long last have rendered themselves pure in the forty fountains of discourse and arrived to claim my hand. It certainly seems like you do and maybe directness would suit your goals better. I was not trying to critique, indirectly or otherwise. I wrote my comment because when I was trying to write my own dating profile, I had read a lot of the existing discourse on attraction and various -isms thereof.
So I had to do a lot of thinking.
I apologise, but, in my opinion, you commit an error. I suggest it to discuss.11.06.2020|Reply