Something and godly dating and courtship absolutely not agree
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Sunday 8. If you seem to have an interest to know someone of the opposite gender, I have an announcement to make - you are perfectly normal! Do not be surprised or ashamed, but caution is required here as well. Courtship may be defined as a mutual commitment made between a man and a woman to meet regularly for the purpose of knowing each other better and seeking God's will with the aim of marriage one day if it is His divine will. We should include here that there should be a clear understanding that if the courtship does not work out, both persons are to be mature enough to part as friends without resentment and with all due respect for each other's feelings. Let us discuss some practical concerns for a healthy date.
This courtship process focuses on religious compatibility and a shared belief system. Courtships are nothing new. Many past societies, even ancient ones, encouraged proper courtships that followed formal rules of etiquette. Royal Persian courtships involved officials and royal decrees, while provincial Sicilian families required deposits of livestock.
Courtship has been largely replaced by dating, which is more casual.
Some Christians, however, find it important to pursue godly courtships which honor their religious beliefs like purity and honesty. These types of modern courtships are preparations for possible marriage between two Christian believers. There are some fundamental differences between dating and courting. The main difference is accountability. This list will help you see the differences more easily. This is the perspective that one must take to understand correct dating and courtship.
Although the Bible does not tell us specifically how to approach every ct of dating and courting, there are principles that must be applied to build a successful, long-lasting relationship. Everything you do in the course of dating and courtship should be based on givecontinually asking if your conduct reflects both love toward God and love toward your neighbor. Sin is the opposite of love, and this includes vanity.
Competition, strife argumentsgreed, envy, jealousy, hatred and lust all stem from vanity. The briefest look reveals that relationships today are filled with these attitudes. The Bible also says that when-not if -you sin, you automatically earn the penalty of death Rom.
Many religious leaders teach that Christ died for our sins and that His shed blood cleanses us from sin. Have you noticed that they never define what sin is -that they never challenge people to search their Bibles to see how God defines sin? But what law? Is the law sin? God forbid. Again, what law was Paul writing about? This is the Tenth Commandment, found in Exodus and Deuteronomy Paul and John were both clearly referring to the Ten Commandments.
Both apostles taught that breaking this Law is sin. For He that said, do not commit adultery, said also, do not kill. Of course, James was also referring to the Ten Commandments. People may go through life without ever physically committing a murder or adultery, or stealing or lying.
Let's Talk About Christian Dating Boundaries
Nevertheless, all have sinned. Because even when we obey the letter of the Law, we can break the spirit of the Law in our minds -and this is sin. Sin always begins in the mind. Given enough time, what you think about eventually becomes what you do Prov. Then when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death [the wages of sin].
Most never make the connection between thoughts and actions. The Bible records a tragic example of how lustful thoughts can lead to disaster. This story bears examination at this point to see how lust can conceive one sin, that leads to others, and results in death.
One spring evening, as David walked on the roof of his palace, he spotted a woman who was bathing II Sam. These thoughts led him to inquire about the woman vs. Unfortunately, this did not stop David from going forward to break the Seventh Commandment by committing adultery with her vs. His sin also involved breaking the Eighth Commandment. These sins eventually resulted in the birth of an illegitimate child vs. Earlier, wanting to cover up the pregnancy, David conspired against Uriah, who had been away faithfully fighting a war for his king.
These actions broke the spirit of the Ninth Commandment-bearing false witness. What began merely as impure thoughts led to multiple sins-and catastrophic results! Sin often begins in a seemingly harmless and innocent manner, but unless stopped and repented of in the early stages, it leads to catastrophe and complete destruction. Eventually, when David came to see his sins as God did-as terrible lawbreaking and iniquity-he repented. The need to establish and then build on the basics is especially important with dating and courting.
If one is not rooted in sound, clear understanding, it is impossible to build a sturdy house-physically or spiritually. The Bible further compares Christians to general contractors-builders. But let every man take heed how he builds thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. What you have learned to this point is precious knowledge.
We could ask: Are you determined, in any potential relationship, to build with gold, silver and precious stones? We have seen that when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they cut humanity off from God.
Therefore, mankind is also cut off from the source of real love.
Hallmarks of Godly Courtship
You need no longer be ignorant of this. God created men and women with the ability to love and be loved-and He wants them to experience this in their lives. You can find true love in a relationship-and we have seen that it is far different than simple infatuation-but to do this you must first understand what it is!
This word means the love of go and to understand the fullest love that can be shared between a man and a woman, we must first know what the love of God is. The Bible is the sole authority. Sadly, while every professing Christian wants to experience the love of God, most believe that the commandments are grievous-and harsh!
Is it any wonder that the state of dating, courtship and marriage today is in such confusion, yielding so many tragic results and ruining so many lives? What hope could any marriage have without understanding and having access to the love of God? Recognize that the commandments and the law are the same. Where is the harshness in a law God equates to love? As with sin, only God can define real love! Recognize that God is the only Source of true love, and only through His Word-the Holy Bible-can we find exactly what constitutes true love between a man and a woman.
Parents and children, siblings and close friends all share this type of love in their relationships. But the Greeks also had a third word for love, eros. You may recognize the English word eroticwhich is derived from it. Eros is romantic, sexual love between husband and wife, but it is not lust!
Dangers of Worldly Practices of Dating/Courtship Have a godly companion who will one day influence your children when you are married. (Mal 2;14, Psa ) These relationships will not only help to prepare you for marriage one day but they will also serve you to keep your marriage well established and growing healthily. Dating and Courtship God's Way by David C. Pack Countless millions of shattered families began with wrong dating habits. These habits made proper courtship impossible. And the results have been tragic. The almost universal effects of modern dating demonstrate widespread ignorance, even on the most basic points of right dating. The potential for a young person's heart to be broken, and for there to be great pain is there in a courtship just as it is in dating. There is a godly way to date without placing on the relationship all of the rules, regulations, and strains of courtship.
Remember, it is a form of love, which God designed to be the pinnacle of physical pleasure when expressed in a marriage relationship between husband and wife, the only proper place for it. Clearly, eros is not wrong, but it should never be the only form of love in a marriage.
Sadly, however, most couples have no idea that marriage cannot be based solely on romantic love. This excludes both of the much deeper forms of love that couples can go on to experience. While romance and sex certainly bring some happiness and closeness in a marriage, and this is not to be understated, this is not enough to make the relationship truly fulfilling-or for it even to last. Grasp this!
Though the love of friendship and companionship is vital, both philia and eros are-and can only be-practiced on the physical level. The love referenced here, as with so many other scriptures, is agape. God expresses this love to mankind spiritually through His Holy Spirit working in converted minds.
Recall Romans Agape is not merely a feelingalthough it can involve various feelings. It is a conscious, controlled way of thinking. All three forms of love are important, and vital, for the bond of marriage to remain strong-and to endure. But remember, these three are vastly different. Philia is the love within friendships. Eros is the love expressed through romance and sex.
Agape is the most critical and important love- spiritual love. Some marriages never get beyond eros. Others grow to involve a genuine philia for one another. But marriages-and any other relationships-that reach the pinnacle of supreme happiness have graduated to agapethe greatest form of love. While the first two may, over time, come naturally to a relationship, agape is not natural in human beings.
This is truly the dimension of which the world knows nothing. Again, what is true love? We have learned that it is a selfless, sharing, out-flowing concern for others that is founded on the way of give. Remember, God is love. Although man is and always has been hostile toward Him, God still gave His only Son to redeem humanity. Understand the enormity of this gift. If Christ had not succeeded in His goal when He was human, the Father would have been utterly alone for all eternityhaving no one remaining except the angels with whom to share His love!
Because God is love, He desires all to have-to experience-the same love He experiences! As this love flows through the newly converted, it will flow into his relationships throughout his lifetime. Grasp this all-important point. This love overarches absolutely everything having to do with dating and courtship. True love is unselfish. It is not an emotional high although it certainly involves emotions. It combines both outgoing concern and genuine affection for the other person in a relationship.
But it must always continue to extend further-to include every other human being. Instead, there can only be desire - lust -at first sight! Based upon appearance, one may be attracted to someone across a room but a relationship founded on this alone is wrongand will never work. One simply cannot fall in love at first sight, although one can grow over time to deeply love a person.
This develops out of mutual admiration and respect for one another, and involves, as we will learn, much thought and careful analysis. Guided by their human reasoning, these teens sought to validate their feelings in what were inappropriate relationships.
Teens are generally incapable of analyzing their motives in a relationship, either until it has failed, a pregnancy or disease has resulted, or virginity has been lost and disillusionment has entered-in other words, when it is too late!
For some, even these are not enough to jolt them to reality. Human nature could be described as an onion with a rotten core. Any two teenagers who sincerely think they are in love must analyze the motive behind the motiveand honestly acknowledge the basis of their relationship- infatuation driven by lust!
Take time to periodically reread these three passages, and remind yourself to honestly face the facts and to hear wise counsel! Vast numbers of teenagers go down the path of sincerely believing they are in love. Deceiving themselves, they are actually ruining their lives and the lives of others! Fornication, terrible diseases, unwanted children, shamed and disappointed families, financial hardship, disillusionment, psychological problems sometimes even leading to suicidelost education, lost innocence, lost friendships, lost happiness-and lost futures -are the painful results!
Make no mistake! These things do not just apply to teenagers! Laws are laws-they play no favorites. This can-and should -be applied to every ct of life. Are you certain you are walking the right direction in your dating relationships? What dangers might you be overlooking-or ignoring?
Will you set the right priorities, demonstrate character and do the right thing? The single greatest goal of every person is to be born into the coming kingdom of God, to share rulership with Christ at His Return. All other goals, including pursuing and achieving a happy marriage, are of lesser importance.
However, while serious dating should wait, there is a certain type of dating that can be done before one is converted. The difference between these two stages will be explained later in greater detail. Why should baptismal status matter? Grasp this crucial fact. Husbands and wives are to express the love of God agape to each other and, for this to be possible, God must be working within a marriage.
This can only occur if His Spirit is present in both partners. Without it, you are utterly incapable of loving a mate in the way God designed. Would you make a big business decision -certainly not as important as marriage-without first determining your chances of success?
Dating or Courting?
Some marriages should never take place, regardless of how the couple feels and whether they are converted. Later portions of this book will more thoroughly address why. Many readers may have already made the mistake of marrying the wrong person, sometimes more than just one. In almost every case, lack of maturity was involved with one or both spouses in the previous marriage. This does not mean you cannot date, but that you must adjust your definition of dating.
See chapters 7 and 8 for much more detail. If you are a parent of teenagers, you should be careful not to force your children to date only those of your choosing. This is qualified later in the book. If you do, you will drive them the opposite way. God Himself is a parent and, like every parent, He wants the very best for His children.
However, He recognizes that He made human beings as free moral agents, able to make mistakes, but also able to learn from them. And while experience is a very good teacher, it is far better and less painful to learn from instruction and from the examples of others.
As your children grow older, you should be gradually giving them more responsibility. Under your overall guidance, this will help them learn to make right decisions. During the late teens, a teenager should be making some of his own decisions. But there may be times when you need to intervene. If your teenager wants to spend time with the wrong companions, disregard all protests-step in and stop the contact! As parents, you are often the only ones truly guiding your teenager.
Be assured that if you do not teach your teenagers, someone else will-and it will probably not be what you want them to learn! Most people in the modern age no longer base decisions and actions on solid moral values. They have been programmed to act according to their feelings. Very few are any longer taught that they must learn to control their emotions.
Looking back, it became, in a sense, prophetic of our entire age-and this age has had an impact on you, and it will directly affect how and with whom you form relationships in your life. For more than a generation, most human beings have become subtly conditioned-by education, pop psychology and society-to listen to, and stay in tune with, their feelings, as a guide to their course of action in any given situation. Part of this conditioning involves people having been virtually trained to look for and almost exclusively respond to their feelings.
They have even been taught to elevate their feelings to the point of almost continually asking themselves how they feel-about almost everything! This represents an enormous change in the overall way that most people think and react-and view the circumstances in which they find themselves. Dating and courtship are not exceptions, and may have been affected more than most other areas of human activity. Here is what is different-what has changed today.
The vast majority of people, including society as a whole, once generally reacted to circumstances, and the environment around them, based on the values that they had been taught-based on ethics, principles, morals, beliefs, integrity and overall character.
This meant that people once viewed matters much more on the basis of right versus wronggood versus evilproper versus improperwise versus unwiseand even law versus sin.
Dating vs. Godly Courtship. Section 3 Feminism vs. Marriage and Family. Section 4 The Traditional Roles of Marriage. Section 5 Marry in the Lord: Do not be unevenly yoked. Section 6 The No-No's of Social Networking and Dating Sites. Section 7 Premarital Study Materials. Certificate of Marriage vs. Marriage License. Jan 02, Question: "What does the Bible say about dating / courting?" Answer: Although the words "courtship" and "dating" are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter ). Matt Chandler is a husband, father, lead pastor at The Village Church in Dallas, and author of several books, including The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption. Matt was our recent guest on the Ask Pastor John podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating. We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and .
Sadly, and so tragically, a regard for values of almost any kind now carries very little weight in the thinking of most in the world. Millions of children and teenagers today cannot handle even the simplest obstacles, problems and challenges so basic to everyday life. More often than ever, when young children do not get their way, they throw temper tantrums if not disciplined. Usually, parents do nothing, but as these same children grow up, they eventually realize that it is unacceptable for an adult to fall to the floor, kicking and screaming.
So, most-but not all-learn to hide or suppress tantrums. But little has changed on the inside. While teens and adults may have learned to cover up some or most of their emotions on the outsidemany are still screaming, crying and going to pieces inside.
This is exactly why so many grow up appearing to be mature but, in reality, have remained terribly immature. Many young people and even adults today battle moodiness, often brooding and becoming easily annoyed when they are not the center of attention.
In the pursuit of happiness, most of society almost constantly caters to their every whim and desire-without regard for the consequences. Rather than using their own minds and character to make sound decisions, they succumb to the easier path of following the crowd. By the age of 16, a teenager has usually reached a certain level of physical maturity. It is at this point that he may begin to think more seriously about life. Yet-and this is critical to comprehend-it is usually not until around age 25 that one reaches a significant level of mental maturity.
But even this applied more to generations past. The above examples of immaturity are best described as an epidemic afflicting millions today.
What is your maturity level? Are you certain that you are growing in maturity-enough to properly handle dating, and possibly courtship, assuming you are of sufficient age and conversion? Real maturity is absolutely essential to successful dating. This is true for two reasons. First, most people do not find it pleasant to date an immature person. If you are immature, and refuse to grow and develop in emotional and mental maturity and stability, the only people you will be able to date will be the same-immature and unstable.
Second, and more important, as you grow older and begin dating one-on-one, it is essential to have already achieved a certain maturity level before becoming serious. Love and the proper perspective of the relationship are impossible without it! A person must be mature enough to understand the implications of a serious relationship. A lifetime of marriage and commitment may be just over the horizon!
Again, take heed lest you fall! Analyze where, in your personality and character, you need to grow and develop.
Work on these areas! Set goals and move forward. Go to God and ask Him to show you other areas in which you need to grow:. Can you make right decisions? Do you take responsibility? Can you handle setbacks? Can you acknowledge your faults? Can you differentiate between infatuation and real love? Are you addicted to wrong television? Similarly, are you addicted to wrong entertainment and wrong music?
Also ask yourself: Are you striving to become more well-rounded-in interest and culture? Do you have a strong work ethic? Are you patient with others? Would others describe you as composed-in control of your emotions?
Are you generally thought by family and friends to be a responsible individual?
Godly dating and courtship
While maturity is crucial to every ct of adulthood, it is an especially vital building block for dating, courting and, ultimately, marriage! To enjoy a thriving, successful marriage, one must be spiritually, emotionally and intellectually mature! There are no exceptions. While some may seem physically and mentally able to enter a relationship, they are often unable to maintain one. They lack too many essential qualities so necessary to endure the ups and downs that every relationship experiences.
Maturity and conversion are the most fundamental building blocks of proper dating. Maturity is directly related to responsibility. Marriage is a God-plane relationship and, as a direct precursor to marriage, dating should not be a simple, animalistic pursuit of pleasure. Yet sadly, many young people never take time to plan their future. Instead, one night of succumbing to lustful impulse can bring disaster crashing down on foolish, unsuspecting minds-an unwanted pregnancy forcing couples to begin preparing for a family without the benefit of foresight and the joy of planning.
In contrast, God began planning to expand His Family long before even creating the earth. Admit that you may need to unlearn almost everything you have absorbed, and replace it with sound biblical principles.
Once armed with this new set of values, you can firmly rely on God to bless you with the best possible prospective mate. Now that you have begun to unlearn the wrong way of thinking and understand how to build a solid foundation on God and His Way, you are ready to learn the right purpose of dating.
This chapter addresses why people date, coupling it with the practical realities that accompany this activity. If you ask several passersby on the street why people set dates to do things together, you will get a variety of responses.
These might include: To have fun, get to know other people, have a girlfriend or boyfriend, have sex, peer pressure, find companionship, defeat loneliness, etc. Some of these reasons are fine, but obviously some are not! Recognize how society has developed over the past century. A brief look at recent history shows that times and morals have undergone a drastic change.
Few customs have changed more than dress. There was once a time, in the mids, when women dressed modestly. They wore floor-length dresses, with long sleeves and high necks.
Men wore shirts and ties, and such dress among men and women carried over to the workplace, and even to sporting activities. This is because people generally had much more character than those of the modern age. And this was true even though most people then also did not know how to select the right mate. As the century turned, a new picture slowly emerged.
The tradition of requiring a chaperone to accompany young couples vanished. Even yet, young people still understood clearly-defined limits. At this point in history, a couple might have shared a short kiss, but only after their interest was serious or they had become engaged.
Society continued changing even more rapidly as the century developed. Many new books, magazines and other publications discussing and describing sex became available, and people began to throw off the restraints of prudery. Dating is now a practice that almost immediately involves sexual intimacy. Many today disdain-or, again, have not even heard of-the concept of courting.
Teenage morality has dropped to its lowest point in history-with no apparent end in sight to the worsening trend. Of course, society today flaunts sex in everything. The effects are so far-reaching that a return to modesty would almost instantly collapse the economy.
Advertising would change overnight, as would the clothing industry. Thousands of Internet companies would declare bankruptcy, as would advertising agencies, now completely unequipped to offer a different way. The music industry would fold as we know it, and the change in movies and television would make the whole entertainment industry almost unrecognizable.
Many could not make the shift fast enough. To learn more about the right purposes of sex, read our vital book Sex - Its Unknown Dimension. That book is a companion to this one, and is necessary to understand the God-ordained purposes for sex. The dictionary definition of what constitutes a date was briefly discussed in the introduction. At this point, it is worth repeating. Another way of stating this is that it is merely social contact with a person or persons of the opposite sex, either one-on-one or in a group.
During the teenage years, dating should only be within groups and with specific parental knowledge and permission. As one grows older, and closer to the age suitable for marriage, one-on-one dates may begin. The process begins with group dating and leads to one-on-one when the time is right, which, in turn, leads to the more intensive step of courtship if the couple becomes seriously interested. This, of course, then progresses to engagement and marriage, if continued.
Conversion is another virtual prerequisite for dating one-on-one. This will be momentarily addressed and expounded upon in Chapter 7. Through group dating, you will overcome nervousness and learn to relax and naturally respond to those of the opposite sex. This will prove beneficial when moving on to courting. You will be able to evaluate situations more realistically.
Above all, try to date widely. This gives one exposure to a broad range of personalities, with the important side benefit of learning which kinds of personalities are compatible with yours and which are not.
This is most critical to recognize. You need to know which kinds of people make you comfortable, and which do not.
You will probably find that one personality type makes you most comfortable. But this may not always be the case. Dating widely helps you learn to interact with almost anyone in any kind of social setting.
In the earliest stages of dating, romance is never to be involved! As we have seen, teenagers are much too young for this more serious activity.
This can only come later, when one is of sufficient age and maturity to contemplate marriage and its enormous implications. While modernists will howl in protest, only at this stage should one begin to date one-on-one, with the potential to progress to courting and romance. Though this approach may seem old-fashioned, it is absolutely essential to not get ahead of yourself, when you are too young to even know what kind of basic personality match would make for the most successful, long-lasting relationship.
Recognize that society is pushing you from every direction to begin romance long before it is appropriate. Romance too early carries a high price.
I have counseled many who have had to pay this price-and my task was often to try to help rebuild shattered marriages, and shattered lives. Countless thousands of teenagers have grown up to sorely regret the daily pain and consequences they now face, because they thought that they were more mature-more ready for romance-than they actually were.
It would be helpful to summarize some important points here: Group dating can begin as early as age 16, where a small number-perhaps six to eight, or so-make an appointment to enjoy a wholesome activity together. Responsible adults or parents should stay close. Of course, very large group activities can and should begin at an early age, and these would have a variety of parents or other adults present.
But it must be understood that we are talking about a group of people of both sexes participating in an activity together. Before one is baptized and converted age 18 to 20 at the earliesthe or she should not date one-on-one. With rare exceptions, group dating is the only way one should date before conversion. There could be an unusual, very rare exception to dating prior to conversion. For example, a teenager could escort or be escorted by someone to a Church activity or a special, one-time school function.
But all the principles in this book must be remembered during such unique occasions. Age 18 is the absolute soonest that people should consider dating one-on-one, with 19 to 20 a better age to start this activity. Whatever the age this begins, it is vital to have already laid a foundation of much exposure, in all kinds of settings, to those of the opposite sex.
There should be a certain comfort level in place first - before one-on-one dating. Otherwise, the danger grows that the more shy, timid or nervous-type person will quickly pair off with either the first person with whomever he or she is comfortable or whoever pays him or her attention.
I have seen this often. Through casual group dating, you will be able to overcome nervousness and learn to relax and naturally respond to those of the opposite sex, and you will be able to evaluate later dating situations more realistically. This will also prove immensely beneficial when moving on to the more serious step of courting.
Teenagers today have no idea of the danger of one-on-one dating. But how does this differ from group dating? Is it crucial that one come before the other?
One-on-one dating ultimately leads to marriage. Before this, it usually leads to some level of attachment. There was a time, just a few decades ago, when teen marriages abounded.
Today, this is less common-people tend to wait longer for marriage. This in turn leads to a wide range of problems. However, there are far fewer temptations in group dating situations.
Apr 26, How to Have a God Centered Dating Relationship. If you're trying to live your life in a way that honors God, it's only natural that you'd want a dating relationship that honors Him as well. To ensure God is an important part of your 78%(17). Many relationships are based on the love of a sport, hobby or physical attraction, but a godly courtship is based on the individual's relationship with God. This kind of courtship centers around a third party, God, rather than focusing on the individual partners. This courtship process focuses on religious compatibility and a shared belief system.
What then is group dating? It is simply several people of similar age getting together and participating in some sort of activity. It is the perfect opportunity to apply all the principles that we will cover in this chapter. The world has no comprehension of the numerous benefits of group dating-that this is a way to build both your own personality and those of others around you.
During the teen years, young people are not ready to date one-on-one. If they do, they are cheating themselves and others out of the opportunity to grow and become better people. Enjoy these times spent with several others, applying all the principles discussed to develop yourself as fully as you are able. His Law is for our benefit. You must come to deeply believe that these laws work.
Yet, it is wrong and produces much untold misery. Such couples tend to just fall forward into this next seemingly natural step. Clearly, one of the purposes of dating is to find the right person to marry!
So many begin to go steady through high school, and some on into and through college, thinking they have found the right person. But, because of immaturity, and because they are not letting God guide them, they cannot possibly know with certainty. First, we must ask, why do teenagers go steady? Often, due to peer pressure and changes in themselves, teenagers are extremely insecure, and they go steady to gain a sense of security. It is the easy way out of wondering or worrying who you will take-or who will ask you to go-to the next movie, school dance, party, sports event, etc.
Obviously, as we have seen, teens also go steady because of their lower level of emotional maturity. It is clearly much easier than asking for dates and much easier than conversing and interacting with someone new. Going steady enables teens to cover up shyness and bashfulness. However, dating should never be solely about impressing the other person, anyway.
Going steady is the lazy, selfish, foolish, short-sighted and dangerous method of dating. It eliminates the opportunity for a host of vital cts of social development. Of course, going steady among teens invariably seems to mean premarital sex. Acting on selfish desires of the moment, this is a decision to steal from the happiness of your future marriage, including stealing from your future mate-and from both parties in the future marriage of your momentary sex partner.
While boys may not admit it, they know that going steady over a longer period of time makes it much easier to convince a girl to compromise sexually. Inhibitions tend to disappear with familiarity.
There is another serious potential side effect of going steady for a long time: Even without fornication, if you spend all your time with that person, you will inevitably later compare your future spouse to him or her.
Also, the emotional distress of a breakup-or several breakups-at a young age can also distort your overall view of the opposite sex. Here is the biggest-and almost entirely unseen-problem in this. A lifelong pattern can develop from what seemed so harmless in the teen years. You probably think that you love each other. Yet, if this were true, you would immediately break it off. You would wait until you were both able to properly develop the relationship and, more importantly, until God shows you that He is guiding it, which will be done on His timetable not yours!
Most would scoff at the idea that dating is an art. Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against our own bodies 1 Corinthians It is important to love and honor others as we love ourselves Romansand this is certainly true for a courtship or dating relationship.
Whether dating or courting, following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions we will ever make, because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh in a relationship which God intended to be permanent and unbreakable Genesis ; Matthew
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